What to do...and who we are
Right now we are flooded with campers....lovely little middle schoolers cavorting through our buildings, banging on our doors for fun, destroying our property and disrespecting the staff and neighbours (like the people who stood outside their church van at 8am this morning in the parking lot blaring Christian worship songs from the speakers). My custodial, a wonderful sweet older lady, was bemoaning the toils of having to clean up after these kids on a daily basis and she said something I will never forget: 'In all that they are teaching these kids about Jesus in their camp sessions, can't they show them how to respect others and their property?' The camp counselors often gather their students in the lobby right outside my office door and I can usually hear their conversations if I am at my desk. The other night I overheard a rather lengthy discussion about drugs and he was advising his young listeners not to smoke pot because there were far greater rewards in their crown in heaven if they avoided such things. Later that night, the same students were not smoking pot but they did keep wiping off my 'do not enter' sign from the whiteboard on our apartment door and then banging on it and running off laughing.
I do not intend to undermine the counselor who gave sound advice to his students to avoid taking drugs, I applaud his care and love for these kids. What does concern me is that I have spent a lot of my time with youth groups saying and focussing on the same kinds of messages 'don't do .... because of.....' instead of pointing out all that we can and should be actually doing. John often has said to me that God asks us to give up something only in the place of something far greater. He offers perfect beauty and intimacy in marriage in place of relationships without full commitment, emotional freedom of grace and forgiveness in the place of bitterness, revenge and hatred, charity and blessings for everyone over personal gain and material objects.
What are we replacing for our students if all we're giving them is a list of don'ts? I am more convinced than ever that we should all be looking at who we are at our core and how we are impacting our world by our choices. Shouldn't we be teaching our students about the character of Christ; about what it means to take up your cross and follow him (which doesn't just mean give up drugs, sex etc but truly lay down our core of selfishness) and how we are to practically love others as ourselves? What should we be doing because of who we are? Maybe the other things wouldn't be such a struggle for our students if they were focusing on all that has to be done and not just what they should be avoiding.
Christ is King
Living on campus, right in the middle of downtown Cleveland, at the heart of a residential area, I often wonder what the people around us think of Lee and more importantly of Christ. One of the unofficial slogans here is 'a campus where Christ is King'. In this community we have provided a great many services. From supplying all kinds of jobs and industry to Cleveland, either through students' purchasing power or the filling of positions around campus, to the hundreds of hours of community service projects every semester, Lee's impact is definately felt. The students are required to go to Chapel, we have prayer groups, social justice clubs, small groups, conservative lifestyle guidelines and not forgetting that everyone gets a minor in Bible - surely it seems as if all the bases have been covered. However, is Christ holistically King here? I think about how money is (and isn't) spent, the tactics used to aquire donors and feed enrollment numbers, the hierarchy and the job expectations, the Pentecostal snobbery and of course the way the employees are treated. More than any of these, the one thing I worry about the most, is the message sent to our immediate neighbours. As it has constantly expanded, Lee has been consuming its way through surrounding property and as a result we are face to face with many local residents. Right at my back door, there are several elderly people and families who indirectly interact with us on a daily basis. Here is my question? Do they think Christ is King on our campus? In our lives? When we take up their parking spots or wake them up with loud noises, or buy them out of their property for our new dorms, what do they think of Lee? What do they think of Christ? You see, people really take note of what we say about ourselves- they look to see if we are genuinely following what we claim. Does Lee completely know and embrace the responsibility of making such a statement as 'a campus where Christ is King'?
Looking around at the Christian world, especially here and in the West in general, it seems that we have watered down this identity of Christian to something less than the huge task entrusted to us. Just like Lee, we are telling the world that we are following Christ and moving towards becoming like Him more and more everyday, that we are willing to lay down our entire lives for the love of our God and others but are we perhaps picking and chosing what we like and/or what is easiest? Will people look at me and say 'there goes someone with the love of Christ overflowing in her heart' or will they spit in my wake as they mutter 'hypocrite'?
We are never going to be perfect (I think of the apostle Paul and his famous words about the struggle of what we want to be doing and what we actually do). Being a Christian is one of the hardest and most challenging lifestyles one could choose to follow. My issue is not that we are necessarily failing at being perfect but moreso that 1) we cannot seem to be honest about our truly sinful selves and 2) we don't enter into this commitment as we should. No one should get married thinking 'well I will give this idea of being a wife a go and if I can't be faithful- no worries!' What we do is go into it fully aware about the kind of relationship we are signing up for and promising to do our best against all odds- I didn't get married thinking I would be the perfect wife, but I definately didn't think, "seeing as I can cook well it won't matter if I am mean to John at dinner!" But isn't that kind of how we look at our commitment to loving God and loving others? I can pray really well so it doesn't matter if I am rude to the person serving me coffee. What would happen to our testimony as Christians if we could be honest about who we are but give it our all to let people see Christ through us? What if Lee tried to follow a slogan like 'we are a campus constantly trying to let Christ be King even though we are not there yet but this is our ulitmate goal because that's what being a Christian college is all about- let us know how we're doing'.
I am Leia, a woman trying to let Christ be King over her heart and although I daily fail, this is what I am committed to- please fogive me for my shortcomings but help me see how to do better!
It's not about the donkey
Mother Theresa, upon receiving the nobel peace prize, was asked if her life was going to change and if she was worried about becomming prideful after such global recognition. She answered 'do you think that when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday the donkey thought it was about him?'
I wonder if anyone knew the name of the donkey on that day. It was certainly not significant enough to be recorded in any story. He didn't receive a special grooming that morning or a rewarding marvelous dinner in the evening for his toils. He didn't become a tourist attraction where people came through to touch him, take a few strands from his tail to keep in a locket around the neck, or to see if there was an imprint upon his back from where the king had sat.
Not only did Mother Theresa give a great response but it really captures the philosophy of her entire life. This is how she lived, like the one carrying Jesus to his next destination. Not caring to be rewarded, and mostly unaware of how much of an impact she was having but simply there and fulfilling the task ahead. I have recently been reading about the early part of her life and it is so humbling and convicting to read about someone who only cared about others from the very beginning of her journey. No one seems to know how she came to be this way, and she probably didn't even have an answer as she wouldn't have thought it necessary. But unselfish she was from the moment she left her home country and arrived in India as a nun, to the end of her life, all she could see was the poor and their need for love. In all her travels and meetings, she was driven to spread the message of loving the poor. She had no riches of her own, lived a peasants life, sacrificed all just to bring hope to those who were suffering.
I find myself asking daily what stops me from being that way? What holds me back from letting go of everything and living in that manner? Even more frightening than the question, and even the answer itself, is the ability to answer truthfully. If I just think about this critically and play around with all the possible answers, I don't have to face the reality that my heart is so very dark. I can look to all the nice things people say about me, or the way I may have touched lives, or the exterior accomplishments and not actually force myself to admit I am still very selfish and self focussed. Even though I have given so many 'things' in my pursuit to become less materialistic, there are conditions of my heart that don't allow me to be humble and to completely let go of everything. My real selfish desires all seem to linger there hiding behind goodness, always pushing her to the front to convince me she is alone. I like goodness. I can placate myself with goodness but I will never be like Christ, fulfil my call to love unconditionally if I settle on looking at the surface alone.
Why is being truthful so frightening when answering these questions ? Because once you have the real answer, you cannot ignore it anymore. There is no more pretending, you cannot go back and act like you havent seen darkness hiding in the background. I reflect on every motive, every action, every word through this lens of truth and that is how I know for sure- I am not the donkey yet.
Another Deep Breath
So I spent the entire afternoon reading through all our posts on here and it brought back many memories- almost hard to remember what life has been like over the past 5 years because it has changed so dramatically!Anyway, I found something I began and never finished so I thought I would go ahead and post it and then fill in the gaps. It was from January 2009! Who knew how things would change over the course of the next year! Enjoy:I cannot believe a new year has arrived, and yet we are already flying through January. John's family have this great tradition where on Christmas Eve the entire Murray family (his mum's side) sit around and reflect on the past 12 months. (Or as my brother in law puts it 'the part where everyone cries!') Trying to summarise a year is actually quiet hard for several reasons such as remembering painful events, or stressful times or even dwelling on good times that have since passed. John and I began the year, I think, feeling very secure about our future. I received a promotion and the company was doing well, John was headed back to school and we were paying our bills comfortably. However, the year has ended in quite the opposite way: my hours have been cut, John had to abandon his school plans and is now looking for a job so we can meet all our financial demands. *deep breath* I have so many thoughts colliding and running together that I've decided to use this blog to navigate my way through all that I'm feeling. I may not make an entry regularly, let's face it, but writing helps me come to conclusions much faster than sitting and gazing off into space. Also, I know I have a tendency to disconnect from people when I'm not around them despite how much I love them. I realize I am a very 'in the moment' kind of person and can get easily swept away with what is immediately in front of me rather than what I am thinking about. I know it was a very unfinished one but there you go! That is fairly typical of me....I have great ideas for beginning things but am not always very good at following through! Hence the fact that I forgot I even started this post! I have learnt however, that I am awesome at getting people inspired to take on projects and then can spur them to carry it through which is what they are best at. Teamwork is incredible!
What happened next on our deep breath journey was rather insane honestly! John didn't find work until June that year and we were terrified every month that we were going to lose the house. Starbucks became a very sad place as the economy got worse and you really began to see what they were made of- money! All the partners soon lost a lot of their benefits for working there and we were (and they still are) worked much harder than what they're paid for. It was rather a tough six months. In February, I applied for a job at Lee University as a Resident Director. On campus living in the States is a much bigger deal than in England and every residence hall is run by a school staff member with student workers. They are places designed to build community and help students grow and develop into fully fledged healthy adults. It was a grueling four month interview process and in July I was hired to fill a Resident Director position. We put our entire house contents into storage and moved into a tiny apartment in Sharp Hall (residence hall for freshmen girls) and John began his Masters in Biblical studies. This job included all housing costs, free Masters tuition and a small stipend on top. Finally, I was doing a job that touched on so many desires of my heart and John was back on track to becomming a professor. I was working with young women, planning events, figuring out budgets (for those of you who don't know my secret I love accounting!) mentoring and developing people. It was an amazing change after two years of being a barista. I suddenly felt like God had not forgotten me and was opening up doors I had been waiting at for years!
The craziest part- our house did not get rented for a whole other year (despite our best efforts) so we didn't earn a mortgage payment for 18 months and didn't miss one payment thanks to God's provision through friends and families and other crazy ways. Thankfully it is now in the hands of a family who are enjoying the space and mostly it has been going well considering renting. (There was a small bout of unauthorized chicken keeping in the garden but this has now been taken care of!!)
We are still on this path at Lee and although I have changed locations, have more than doubled my resident and staff load, and John has worked his way round three new biblical languages and numerous topics, life as a couple is still just as meaningful and probably even more fulfilling than those early days five years ago when this blog was started. We are learning to be very intentional with our time and to prioritize our family above all else- very important lesson indeed!
My job has gotten much harder due to structural changes but there are so many moments still where I am in awe of what can happen when openly pouring into the lives of others. Not only do you watch them grow but you are also transformed more than you could have imagined. I am forever changed because of the people here.
John is doing excellently in his program (those of you who know him are not really surprised I am sure!). He began working at a local bookshop in June 09 but this year was able to work for professors as a teaching assistant which has reassured him all the more that he was meant to be a teacher. The students love him - especially the ones taking bibilcal Greek as they text and call for his hints and study guides ALL the time! He is so patient and willing to help them succeed - far beyond what he is paid to do. (This is all my unbiased opinion of course! :))
We are part of a wonderful church here called Christ Community- it's completely different to our previous church experiences but we love it and are very plugged in. We both teach on occassion and have made great connections with the people there some of whom I work with so we are really doing life together in every way- sharing work, housing and church. It's a very rare opportunity to do this and is actually also challenging at times -to learn to love people when you see and know so much about each other.
Anyway, I hope that helps fill people in (for whoever is reading) and I will try to be a little more consistent every now and then. Seeing as it's summer and I am off duty, I will probably try and share more about my thoughts and ideas rather than just what we're up to.
Leia
Hope springs eternal
We're back (but probably not consistantly as you may have already realised!)
It's crazy to think December was our last post because it doesn't seem that long. I guess time really does fly...that or we are becoming more and more forgetful as we get older!
So what's been happening?
John celebrated turning 30 last month. We had the joy of renting a cabin in the mountains with some of his college friends and went hiking, played lots of pool and air-hockey and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. I will be joining him in less than a month...hard to believe. Although most people seem to shy away from getting older, I once heard from a dear friend in London (Jaqcuie) that your 30's are the best so I anitcipate an exciting new journey as a woman.
I was promoted in January to a Shift supervisor and placed in charge of managing our community involvement and donations. This job invloves supervising shifts in the cafe and making sure everything runs well and all the Partners (collegues-everyone who works for starbcuks is called a 'partner') are getting the breaks and the help they need to serve awesome coffee! My new position has just been incredible. From the first day I experienced such a sense of peace and have been able to flourish. Of course, all the communirty contacts have been a blast. We have so many organisations and schools who are trying to raise funds and they come to us for donations. I've been given the responsibility of supervising this aspect of our business and it's an awesome feeling to know that we are contributing to all these different causes. One primary school had a student write a thank you letter which we have posted on our wall in the back and it's adorable.
John and I have also started a college home group on sunday evenings for church. So far we have about 10 college kids who come and we discuss topics, arrange outings etc and just build relationships to share our spiritual journey. These are people who were in the youth group before we moved to Cyprus and have now grown up so it's a privilege to continue mentoring them. Our middle school group is still going strong and we are working through the bible with them on Wednesday nights. They are very lively but a lot of fun (most of the time!) and it reminds me of the good thing about being in the classroom that I sometimes miss.
John is working through projects for the organisation Initimate Life. In September he will hopefully enrol at the local theological seminary to get his Masters of Divinity and eventually be getting his doctorate to become a college professor. Although this is nerve-racking because of the work involved and the expense, we are excited for the future and the doors this will open for him. He has been accepted so we are just waiting for the financial aid to come through so please pray that God takes care of this burden for us. John has mentored and taught so many young people over the last ten years, and has a vast knowledge of the bible and history, it's only fitting that he has the paper qualifications to match his experience!
These past two weeks, I have been attending training sessions for Crisis Intervention with a local Pregnancy care centre which prepares people to counsel women who come to the centre for help. It's a pro-life christian organisation so it doesn't believe abortion is the best option BUT I have been so humbled and moved by the approach they take. I was a bit nervous at first because I don't tend to like Christian organisations who assert their beliefs in aggressive ways and humilate the beleifs and attitudes of Christ. However, this centre truly serves and ministers to women in trouble. Whilst, they want to preserve life, they care more about loving these women and supporting them. They are strongly against manipulating women who are vulnerable and base everything they do on Christ's extravagant and graceful love. I don't know if I have the time to volunteer at the centre right now but working with as many young women as I do (and have done) I want to be equiped with tools to minister in every area of their lives.
Well this post should keep you going for a while. Comments as always are greatly appreciated- just to know if anyone is still reading this and if we should keep it up (more consistantly!)
Don't hit the 'back' button...it really is a new post!!
Yes, I know it has been a awfully long time. We are so sorry for taking so long but hope this makes up for it a bit. As many of you will already know, we have been rather busy settling in and have lots to report.
JOBS: John is working for a ministry based in Texas called 'Intimate Life'. They are dear friends of ours and John edited three books for them a few years ago. He is now working on a couple of their new projects and its been much less stressful than the book he wrote last year. The hours are really flexible and work well with my job too. Speaking of which, I'm working at Starbucks as a Barista, something which I love. As I have shared with many of you, I was done with teaching and really needed something with a lot less stress and fewer off-the-clock hours! It's definitely the best job for this season in our life ...and I get tons of free coffee!! Most of all though, I had no idea that Starbucks is such a giving, caring company and I'm so impressed with them and proud to say I work there. The people I work with are awesome and I actually enjoy my job.
HOME: We have bought a gorgeous house and are settling in the last few things (more on that later). It's a brand new three bedroom, three bathroom two-story house with an open plan living, kitchen, dining room, and a finished basement (which is our office and family TV room), plus a back wooden deck/veranda, large garage and huge storage room. We keep looking around saying 'is all this really ours?'- God has certainly blessed us, especially through our friends and family, and particularly our parents. My mum and dad were able to send us some money for new furniture and John's helped us with appliances and other things too. (Thanks guys, we couldn't have done it without you. We love you lots and lots.) The house is right next to an excellent primary/elementary school and just outside Cleveland so it's quiet and surrounded by nature and just a few neighbours. Anyway, photos will be posted soon - don't be mad - there is a reason for the delay!
OUR STUFF: On July 23rd, our stuff was packed into boxes, and taken by a shipping company estimated to arrive in TN, 2 months later. However, almost 5 months later after a number of crazy delays, heart attacks, worry and confusion, our boxes finally arrived yesterday. John and I kept only what we could fit into four suitcases for our plane trip, which was mostly summer clothes - it was July- and have been waiting anxiously for our winter clothes, books, cds, dvds, kitchen stuff, office bits, bedding etc. Most of all, John's computer was in the boxes, so we haven't had internet access since we moved in, and he has had to go to his parents' house every day to work. Which also means, we haven't been able to keep up with people as much we would like, or blog, hence the delay. Even still his computer needs some adjusting to work on US power so I am writing from Larry's computer. BUT we promise as soon as it's all sorted and everything is in place, we will take pics of the house and post them.
MINISTRY: we are teaching the middle school (which is aged 11-13) bible class every Wednesday evening and it's a lot of fun. It's the first time John and I have been able to team teach and we are really enjoying it and loving how the kids are responding. We are also on the verge of starting something with another age group after the new year (more on that when it happens). That's one of the reasons why our jobs are such a blessing because we have much more free time to be invloved with the lives of young people- something important to us.
Anyway, please comment as we enjoy knowing who is keeping up and thinking of us. Makes us feel closed to the ones we miss.
Love you guys and thanks for the emails, prayers and thoughts.
Leia (and John)
XXXX
No news is good news
It's good to be back to blogging but the reason it's taken a while is not so much because of being busy but more to do with lack of news!
We love being back here and have been catching up with friends and family. Everyone has been really sweet and supportive, trying to help us find jobs and get a house. It's wonderful to go to church and both of us understand the language and be able to sing along in the worship and listen to the message without translation!
As far as jobs go, John has an interview next week for a writing project but I haven't really found anything yet. Everytime I think I'm at a dead end, another avenue opens. Just the other night, a dear friend gave me a name of someone who may be able to help. The problem is the kind of job I am looking for isn't advertised in Cleveland and so I have to rely on word of mouth. If I don't find something in the next couple of weeks, I am just going to get a basic office job or something low-stress until the right opportunity comes along.
Next week, John and I are going to be looking at houses. One of John's oldest friends is a realtor (or 'estate agent' for us British folk!) and he is helping us find something. It's really a good market to buy right now because there are more houses for sale than there are buyers so prices are reasonable and there are lots of choices. I am extrememly excited because it's our real first home together. Our apartment in Cyprus was fully-furnished so now we get to chose everything together and combine our tastes. Needless to say I have been watching a ton of DIY/Decorating shows (I LOVE U.S.A. TV!) and drooling over furniture and accessories in the shops!
On Monday we are attending a two-day conference in Georgia for 'progressive' youth ministers by Intimate Life Ministries and at the end of the month, we are teaching at a week-long training conference in North Tennessee for upcoming youth leaders. My mum is attending the latter conference so we're glad we get to see her. She will spend a few days in Cleveland with us which will be lovely.
So, lots to look forward to and lots to pray about! Not a bad post considering I said we didn't have much news, hey?!
- Leia
We're baaaaa-aaaack
Hey everyone.Just wanted to post a quick note to let you all know that we are finally back in the States. We managed to sell our car and sort out all of our last-minute errands in Cyprus, and we had a hassle-free flight/immigration experience yesterday. We'll be living with my parents in Cleveland for the immediate future, and will keep you updated on our job/home prospects as things arise. Most of you will be getting an email with our current phone/address info in the next day or so. We can't wait to see all of our American friends soon!– John
Camp, Touring, and the Big Move
Hello everyone,
This will be our last post for awhile, because our computer is being boxed up tomorrow morning to be shipped back to the States. Obviously this is a very exciting and stressful time for us, and we appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers as we deal with all the last-minute complications of an international move. Our biggest remaining hurdle is selling our car, so please help us pray that we can get that done soon.
This update concerns our recent misadventures with a team of students from Lee University in Tennessee, who visited us here in Cyprus for just over two weeks. During the first week, we were conducting our summer youth camp at Governor's Beach. We had a great turnout of kids this year, and the Lee students served as additional camp staff, which was a great blessing to Leia and me. During the mornings, the Lee students conducted small group sessions with the campers, focusing on helping them to explore and develop their gifts in a variety of ministry areas (music, art, drama, and media). Our afternoons were spent frolicing in the waters of the Mediterranean, and then Leia and I led the evening services. All in all, it was a fantastic week, and everyone bonded very well and had a great time together despite the minor linguistic difficulties and cultural differences (not to mention the 100-degree heat!)
The following week, Leia and I took the team to a variety of places around the island. We visited museums, archaelogical sites, local craftsmen, an Orthodox monastery, a mosque, a Roman amphitheater, the supposed site of the Apostle Paul's scourging, and (as if all of that weren't enough) a waterpark with some pretty awesome slides. We also had a couple of incredible mezze meals (one Greek, one Syrian), plus a wonderful Filipino meal at the Filipino church in Nicosia, not to mention the huge spread that Leia's parents provided for us on the last full night of the team's stay. We thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience (although we were completely and utterly exhausted by the end of it), and it was such a joy for me to be around some Americans again (and hear lots of good ol' Southern English being spoken), and for Leia to meet some new friends who will be in Cleveland ready to welcome her back to the States. So, to Bob, Josh, Joe, Tyler, Brett, Ben, Daniel, Jenn, Rachel, Emily, Jessica, Gayle, and Mamie, we say thanks again for giving us such wonderful memories.
We'll leave you with some pictures from the past couple weeks. Please feel free to comment, as we will still be checking the blog once or twice a week until we leave. See you all at Wal-Mart!
–John
Scenes from the camp morning groups: Media with Joe, Jenn, and Gayle
art with Rachel, Emily, and Brett
music/ worship with Tyler, Mamie, and Daniel
and drama with Josh, Ben, and Jessica.
Dr. Bob Bayles, working hard for the money.
The ol' swimming hole.
Paul's pillar and environs.
Part of the art and architecture at Kykkos Monastery.
The whole gang at Agros village.
Back row: Emily "I'm Not Pregnant!" Chenoweth, Gayle "Hold the Pork" Myers, Bob "Sleepy" Bayles, Ben "Cheeky" Winder. Third row: Jenn "Word" Delfin, Daniel "Rico" Parker, Josh "Utah" Allen, Tyler "Can I Just Say..." Yosick. Second row: Rachel "Black Cannon" Murray, Mamie "Blackjack" Murphy, Jessica "Hello? Anyone Still Here?" Dane. Front row: Brett "Rubik's" Gallaher, Joe "Pasty White" Williams.
